Hearing my partner express some hurt or a need, I have a voice inside that amplifies that message and turns it into a command—you have to help her, you have to end her pain, you have to make this better. Marshall Rosenberg talked about the difference between hearing how our actions are being experienced by someone and hearing an inner demand that we have to do something. The first connects us to them; the second is a sense of should that painfully turns us inward and leaves t

There is a movement today that understands the psyche as made of up a multiplicity of beings, each worthy of empathy. This has radical implications for relating to others and to ourselves.

For a long time, I responded to my daughters' expressions of sadness or shame or fear by trying to fix it. To learn a different way, I had to let go of trying to get them to not be in pain.

Please note that this reflection mentions suicide. Marshall Rosenberg made a distinction between guilt and mourning a decision.